Moving

I think there is something to be said about the walls and the rooms and the spaces that we call our home. No, those walls can’t speak and the rooms certainly can’t can’t be our companions. But in a way, the places where we live see the best and worst of us. If our homes could talk, I’m sure they would have a story to tell.

I’m moving out of my very first “big girl” apartment in two days to a new place just down the road. When I moved here, I was a newly minted graduate, ready to jump into teaching, without a house church, and missing the friends who had become family through my years of college. These walls, floors, and rooms saw the best and worst of me in those days that turned into months, that have now turned to years. If this little apartment could talk, oh, it would have some stories to tell. This space has been precious to me. It has been a hiding place from the difficulties surrounding me, a center of solace from a long day, a couch full of friends and laughter, and a table full of tears as I muddled through some dark seasons. This place has been a refuge- a small spot to pray and sing, throw dance parties with myself, and take Sunday afternoon naps. It’s where I celebrated some of my life’s biggest joys and walked through some of my toughest days and nights. These walls and rooms that I’ve called my own have been a grace. And despite this home’s many imperfections and the many times I recall saying “I can’t wait to move!” this move to a new place is being met with a heart full of bittersweet feelings. Nostalgia is thick around me as I look at my now empty walls and sit on my mattress on the floor. The things that have made this place “mine” have been packed into bags and boxes, waiting to be put on a truck and driven to a different space. A new refuge. A new spot to laugh and cry and read and nap and eat my weight in Oreos.

In spite of the nostalgia and memories in this place that bring tears to my eyes even as I type- I’m thankful. I’m thankful that Jesus gave me this place for a season. I’m thankful that He allowed me to grow and change and be stretched and be humbled. I’m thankful for these walls and rooms, and yes even my ancient window air conditioner and coin operated laundry facilities, because I know that in this space, I grew to know Him more. I know that He has shaped my heart in my time in this little home and I am confident, because He is faithful, that He will continue to do just the same in the next space that He places me in.

So I think I’ll sit here for a little while longer tonight, maybe blinking back a few nostalgic tears, listening to that window air conditioner hum, being thankful for this season, and anticipating His work in the season to come.

God is good.