notable quotes from ‘A Grief Observed.

I checked out CS Lewis’ “A Grief Observed” the other day from the library…mostly from curiosity. it’s a small but weighty book…still, it is possible to be finished in one or two sittings. In the book, Lewis is musing over the death of his wife and is asking difficult questions about life, grief and God. i appreciated his honesty to ask the hard questions that most people, especially Christians may be afraid to ask of God. so many words are tinged with heartache, bitterness but yet a lasting hope in Christ throughout the doubts and questions that haunt him. a few quotes stuck out to me the most…

“Meanwhile, where is God? This is one of the most disquieting symptoms. When you are happy, so happy that you have no sense of needing HIm, so happy that you are tempted to feel his claims upon you as an interruption, if you remember yourself and turn to Him with gratitude and praise, you will be-or so it feels- welcomed with open arms…” Lewis goes on to angrily question where God is when his needs are desperate, like they were in his grief. He compares his feeling of rejection by God like a door slammed in his face then lasting silence. He then questions, “Why is He so present a commander in our time of prosperity and so very absent a help in time of trouble?” I think all of us have asked this question from one time to another. From struggling through trials, death, or other tragedy, we ask “Where are you God?” I heard a quote recently that cut straight to my doubting heart- “Instead of asking ‘why?’ start asking ‘how?'” How then will I live…knowing my circumstances but also knowing the truth about my God, who is sovereign in all circumstances, faithful through each breath and gives grace that I do not deserve. It’s okay to sit in a place of questioning for a time, but when it becomes our central focus and our whole life revolves around questioning the Lord, we lose sight of the truth about Him. “Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.” -Hebrews 10:23

Another Lewis quote…”The more we believe that God hurts only to heal, the less we can believe that there is any use in begging for tenderness. A cruel man might be bribed- might grow tired of his vile sport-might have a temporary fit of mercy, as alcoholics have fits of sobriety. But suppose that what you are up against is a surgeon whose intentions are wholly good. The kinder and more conscientious he is, the more inexorably he will go on cutting. If he yielded to your entreaties, if he stopped before the operation was complete, all the pain up to that point would have been useless. But is it credible that such extremities of torture should be necessary for us? Well, take your choice. The tortures occur. If they are unnecessary, then there is no God or a bad one. If there is a good God, then these tortures are necessary. For no even moderately good being could possibly inflict or permit them if they weren’t.”

hm. so many things to process here. my suggestions: look at Hosea 6:1-3, luke 9:23 john 16:33, phillipians 1:29, 2 Corinthians 4:16-18, 1 Peter 1:6-9 and 4:12-14. i appreciate here that Lewis, in spite of his aching heart, chooses to recognize that yes, we will have much trouble and heartache in this world. it is healthy to recognize such things. However, KNOWING that we serve a God who’s end goal is to work all things together for our good and for His glory, we have true lasting joy and hope despite the trial that hangs on us.

and another…”Am I, for instance, just sidling back to God because I know that if there’s any road to H (his wife) it runs through Him? But then of course I know perfectly well that He can’t be used as a road. If you’re approaching Him not as the goal, but as a road, not as the end but a means, you’re not really approaching Him at all.”

take a moment to let the weight of those words sink in. wow. how many times have I used God as a road instead of the end goal of my heart? How often have I used the words, “well God if you just do _____ for me…” oh, my wandering heart…may it always see Christ as the ultimate end goal! how thankful I am for grace.

a closing quote: “His love and His knowledge are not distinct from one another, nor from Him. We could almost say he sees because He loves, and therefore loves although He sees.”

He loves although He sees. mmm. thankfulness overflows from the depths of my heart. He has seen my dead soul and has made it alive again through Christ. How great is the love the Father has lavished upon us that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! (1 john 3:1a) may we live in awe, humility and wonder at the love and grace of God for all of our days…